have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
