There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
