Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
