bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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