ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
