We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Randomize
