If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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