I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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