More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
