There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
