The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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