Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
