And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
He has the fingertips of a God
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
