My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
