Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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