I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize