Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
