is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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