It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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