Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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