I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
