I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
