i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
