FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
