Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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