hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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