At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
