dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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