in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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