Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
