you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
