she woke up with a sticky ear
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
