Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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