i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
