She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
