he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
