Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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