If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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