I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
