Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
