just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
