Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
