Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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