I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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