Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
love makes seman taste better
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
