I think I died a long time ago.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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