i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
