I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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