you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize