You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
