So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
