I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize