he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so let's talk penis.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize