i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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