? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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