I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just want nice things and good sex
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
