after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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