yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
