There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Randomize