He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
