where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
