I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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