No, you can still breathe under the balls.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
