it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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