Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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