just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
