dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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