I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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