Where did you get a picture of my penis
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
