Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
